To-do lists winnowed away and planning is in the bag. After a year and a half where international travel was only fantasy. Wheels up, finally.
Still, there are covid restrictions in place and certain protocol to follow. I’m entering Thailand through Phuket, where I have to spend a week before I can to travel elsewhere in country. It’s 26 hours of transit before I touch down on the island, in the early hours of February 3. The entry process is arduous. Soon I’m in a private taxi to my hotel – a covid requirement and a luxury I’ve never afforded myself. I may do it againIt sure beats haggling with taxi drivers or navigating public transportation.
It’s about a half an hour to get from the airport to Patong. I must say, I have a general aversion to Phuket and a particular aversion to Patong. Phuket was idyllic decades ago. For a couple of dollars a day, you could rent an A-frame on a secluded white sand beach. But now it’s completely overrun. You might hide away in a posh hotel, alternating between Thai massages, spa treatments and curry served on fine china. Or spend debaucherous nights on Bangla road, drinking cocktails by the bucket and watching Thai women perform lewd acts with ping pong balls. Either way, you’ll not find much in the way of true Thai culture here. You might as well find an all-inclusive resort in Cancun or book a Carnival Cruise.
I’m required to stay at an approved hotel for the week and the price is right in Patong. Kalim Resort is actually a nice little place, located just around the bay from Patong proper. It has a central courtyard with a pool and lounges in the shade. I plan to drop my things and stroll into town, but protocol deems otherwise. I have to quarantine in my room until I get a negative result for the airport covid test. I kick on the AC, order and overpriced curry, and melt into the the bed. Within a few hours, I have the all clear.
It’s late afternoon and the sun is easing towards the far end of the bay. I pass through an evening market that’s just kicking into gear. Meat sizzles over hot coals and sinewy arms flip noodles from blackened woks. It’s surreal to be back again.
I make my way towards Patong, giving it a fresh look. Perhaps I was little spoiled when I arrived here last. I’d spent a lot of time off of the beaten path. Fresh from Myanmar, Patong was excessive, crowded, and boring. After a year and a half in middle America though, it’s a welcome sight. I walk down a palm-lined path along the beach. In the golden light, among the hawkers and masseurs, the smoothie carts and umbrella shaded cabanas, I decide that a week in Phuket can’t be all bad.
I recommend renting a motorbike pretty much anywhere in Thailand – except maybe Bangkok. For 150 THB per day (4 USD), it’s freedom on the cheap. It’s a great way to get to hidden waterfalls and remote beaches. Plus its a total blast. There’s nothing quite like punching the accelerator out of a stop with a hundred other bikes.
There are great viewpoints and beaches tucked all over Phuket. Just about any hilltop on the island will afford you a great view, but none is more impressive than the Big Buddha. About 40 minutes southeast of Patong, it’s the third tallest statue in all of Thailand. It stands on 148 feet tall atop Nagakerd Mountain near Chalong. Covered in Burmese white marble, it’s almost bling ding in the afternoon sunlight. You can see it from anywhere on the southern part of the island. If you hit it late in the day, continue south to catch the sunset at Promthep Cape.
I love the beaches on the west and south of the island. Kata Noi and Rawai beaches are both beautiful. Freedom Beach, though closer to Patong, is isolated enough to keep the crowds at bay.
It’s a short motorbike ride and a steep downhill hike, or alternately a ride on a longtail boat. from Patong beach. It’s more crowded than I remember, but still pretty secluded. I spend the day with a book, chasing the receding shade towards the tree line. There aren’t any cafes on Freedom Beach, but a few locals sell drinks and snacks or turn meat on a grill.
My favorite though, is Banana Beach. Without a recommendation and Google Maps, I’d never have found it. About a 40 minute ride north of Patong, the ride is half of the fun. North of Patong, you pass through the stunning resorts of Kamala and on to the little ramshackle restaurants that line the beaches of Surin and Bang Tao. It’s the perfect pit stop for an icy mango smoothie. Word to the wise: if you’re not in a hurry, take the curviest, most meandering roads on the map – the closer to the shore, the better.
The only indicator for Banana Beach are a few motorbikes parked along the shoulder of the road. From there, a trail leads down to of snow-white sand and blue crystal water. In the shade of a high palm canopy is a Pa Pa. It’s nothing more than a little shack with an open kitchen and a friendly staff. There’s always something on the grill grill and someone pounding away at a papaya salad in the back. Grabbing one of the low slung tables for a seafood Pad Thai is truly one of the better lunch experiences on the planet.
The food across the island is impressively good. While I’m partial to the food of the North, there wasn’t a bad bite here. I venture out across the island most every day and return to Patong for dinner.
A good rule of thumb: stay away from any restaurant with a large menu. This is true anywhere, but more so in a tourist town. Any establishment that tries to do too many things doesn’t do any one of them particularly well. Also, the best food is not found on the best real estate. Sometimes you have to wander a little bit to find the gems. Back alley cuisine always better (and more affordable) than what you’ll find on a beachfront promenade.
The Crispy Fried Pork Belly at Ned’s Bar – I’ve been dreaming about this dish since I was last in Thailand. They just don’t do fried pork like this in the West.
A few standouts…
No Name Restaurant is a regular spot for. It’s about as rustic as it gets and the food is great. Its just north of Patong Beach on the beach as you near Kalim Bay, but it’s not visible from the road. There’s just a little trail from the sidewalk that meanders towards the beach and a handwritten sign. Under a tree canopy and set on sand covered boulders, you’ll catch sight of the little shanty kitchen. Mismatched chairs are arrayed around the tables, set wherever there is level ground.
My best meal was my last on the island. I’m a sucker for noodles and I never pass up duck.
There’s a duck noodle stand on the street outside of of an industrial paint store. It’s on google maps.
This is life changing soup. It’s this luxurious silky broth with hints of anise. Tender dark pieces of duck meat float half submerged over threads of tender rice noodles. It’s topped with bean sprouts, chopped cilantro, peanuts and chili paste. This is one to go out of your way for.
All in all it was a perfect kick off to Asia. Kind of like dipping your toes in the water. I spent plenty of time lounging on a cabana and napping with a book and a fruit smoothie – no complaints here.
Reading recommendation for Thailand: The Bangkok Series by John Burdett. Fun romps with a Thai detective in Bangkok who also happens to be a former Buddhist monk.
Christopher’s Travels 